![]() ![]() Yet another one of Kojima’s trademark curveballs. The KID FROM THE RING wearing a GAS MASK floats behind him! The point is, you’ll be far too distracted by the flame demon to ponder this. But probably I’m some convoluted plot twist that will only make sense to the other inmates in the padded room where Hideo Kojima does all his typing. Maybe I’m a character from a previous game. Maybe I’m your Tyler Durden-style alter ego. I appreciate that, but it doesn't really answer my question. I’ve been watching over you during your entire coma. Allow me and my distracting exposed ass to escort you to an overlong tutorial level.īOSS tumbles out of bed and DRUNKENLY WANDERS after ISHMAEL’S EXPOSED MAN-ASS for like FIVE YEARS. Instead, LOUD is LIT ON FIRE by ISHMAEL, whose FACE is covered in BANDAGES.Ĭall me Ishmael. Naturally this is the perfect moment I should kill him, instead of any time during those many years he was asleep. She looks exactly like QUIET, except she TALKS, so she’s, uh, LOUD? Suddenly an ASSASSIN GIRL appears and GARROTS THE FUCK out of DOCTOR KRIEGER. ![]() You've got Jack Bauer doing your voice now, you’ll be fine. Welcome to the distant future of 1984! You’ve been comatose for like eight years, ever since that helicopter explosion blasted your original face off and replaced it with Kiefer Sutherland’s. He's being tended to by DOCTOR KRIEGER FROM ARCHER, OBVIOUSLY. We open on SOLID SNAKE, wait no, NAKED SNAKE, wait sorry, SNAKE IT OFF, ugh damnit, SNAKE ME UP WHEN SNAKETEMBER ENDS, eh whatever, we open on BIG BOSS waking up from the COMA he’s been in since GROUND ZEROES. ![]()
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